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December 6, 2000
Dear Paul,
In addition to your books which I love very much I've also been very interested in the writings of Matthew Fox and with which I find certain correspondences with your own writings. Matthew Fox in his book The Coming Of The Cosmic Christ speaks of the "wounded child" in us all which he equates with the crucified earth on the one hand and the Cosmic Christ on the other. The Cosmic Christ is also sometimes identified with the Buddha Maitreya. It is believed by some that Maitreya is currently living in London and waiting for the right moment to reveal himself. Whats been puzzling me and what your book Silence Of The Heart helped answer concerns the fact that some evangelical christians consider Maitreya to be the Antichrist. While I consider this to be an extreme point of view I also believe that all views deserve some respect so I'd been looking for what kernel of truth this view might contain and how I could perhaps synthesize the views of Maitreya and his followers with those of Matthew Fox. Silence Of The Heart came to the rescue when it equated the "wounded child" with Lucifer and the Antichrist. As a "wounded child" myself this has helped me on a personal level to accept and integrate my "dark" side without feeling that I am being false to God or Jesus in doing so. Thank you very much.
If Maitreya is either Christ or AntiChrist, there isn't much point to the whole atonement, in which he, you, I, and everyone else here is participating.
Christ is not a person, but a state of consciousness (as is anti-Christ) and noone has exclusive claim to either one.
Only the Jews seem to understand that the Messiah does not come until all beings return to God. No exceptions.
While the possibility is everpresent, don't hold your breath!
Besides, breathing is good for all of us!
Thanks for sharing your insights.
Blessings, Paul
December 5, 2000
Dearest Paul,
I am experiencing now in my life and have always a real fear of sickness and then to death. Every time I get sick I feel like my mind says that I'm going to die and this is something that happens to me over and over again heather I'm sick or not. Sometimes I wonder if my fear is intuition or if it is something that is being made up and then turning around and creating it. I do my best to give the energy of this fear a higher vibration and looking at it, but it keeps coming back again. I don't know when to pay attention to my fear or when to say that's just fony bolognae that the mind is making up and to ignore it. I'm really tired of feeling this fear of sickness and death.
I think it is also a major part of conditioning from my parents and my society. I feel like I can't breathe at times a full breathe or swallow without it hurting (literally and figuratively). I don't want to try to feel like I have to push breath into my lungs. I'm also wondering if I'm getting sick because things are clearing on many levels for me. I don't know. Why do people get sick? There are so many answers I can think of. Thanks Paul.
If you stay with what you are feeling long enough to investigate it, you might be less overwhelmed by it. But please do this by breathing into it.
Not breathing is a sign of overwhelm, an attempt to escape the fear, rather than be with it.
First you must use the breath to establish a place of peace from which you may begin to be with these feelings, accept them, learn from them, and move with them.
As always, be gentle with yourself. Do not force yourself to do anything you are not ready to do.
Blessings,
Paul
Decmber 4, 2000 -
Dear Paul,
I am forwarding a heartfelt question .... well, perhaps not a question...perhaps just a great misunderstanding....it seems for most of my life i have struggled with accepting myself and god....perhaps i have not a sense of self at all...i do not think that i have every truly experienced a knowingingness of my own self worth...though i have tried to establish it in so many ways that do not ever seem to fill this emptiness within my soul...i am afraid...when reading acim and related books...in my mind i am searching and yearning for something....some reminder of who i am...i seem to have been on a constant path of trying to unite with god and myself...and the journey never seems to end...i have searched my life endlessly..i do not know my purpose...but i do know that i want to love...love myself...love god and extend that love to all....but where does it begin? with me or god? must i have an established sense of self before i can ever have peace? i know and understand completely that i cannot truly offer love acceptance and forgiveness to others without first loving myself...so how do i do that? i see how clingy i become in my relationships when i feel no self worth...i see how judgemental i become with others when i am viciously judging myself...and i lose complete presence...i seem to have been haunted with self worthlessness all my life....and i am very sad for all that i know in my heart i am missing because of it....in all of my life...i know that if i understood...if i accepted love for myself...how completely that knowingness would heal so many places...so many worries...so many fears....i look around me and i see others and hear others that i know that love could heal them....and i feel drawn to love them...but then i am faced with how very little i love me....and i pray...please god heal me so that i can heal them from the darkness that i too have lived in....please god...i want only to know love...for you for me and for all....i want only to shine so that i can invite others to shine too....please remind me of you and show me who i am....i am watching my life dissolve away it seems...falling into the depths of fear and i cannot save myself from myself....nothing seems to make sense...i feel so disconnected...and seem to only offer some semblance of love to others when i have it not for myself first...and then i feel guilty and i feel like i am not real...does this healing...that i have yearned for for so long come from me or from god? the ego it seems i completely understand....there is only love and fear...this too i understand...but fear seems to speak so loudly and so emphatically....and i seem to be left at war with myself...left to fight for a love that i have never known...where is god? is he waiting on me or shall i wait on him? am i so afraid of love that i cannot receive it? i have broken myself down into so many tiny pieces...trying to understand where i misunderstand....and all i seem to be left with are words and a blaring ego....if god is here...if his love surrounds me always...why can i not accept it or understand it? what then? how do i make myself love myself? please help me to understand....thank you
You are right. It all begins with you.
Yet you cannot "make" yourself love yourself, just as you cannot make yourself love others.
Love begins with simple acceptance. It is "simple" to understand, but not at all easy to do.
Sometimes it is helpful to start by being aware of the times when you are being critical of yourself and others. Just be aware...don't beat yourself...and then practice forgiveness: "I see that I am being critical and that means I'm scared. I can feel some compassion now for the little girl that is scared." This is moment to moment spiritual practice.
Love follows on the "heals" of acceptance. And God's love for you follows on your love and acceptance of your self. Reading books is not spiritual work per say. They help us understand what the scope of the journey is, but they don't walk it for us.
Accepting yourself in each moment is spiritual work. It is an ongoing practice.
Unfortunately, there are no shortcuts.
Please see the movie "Shine." It gives the best road map for "shining" and taking joy in the "shining" of others.
Blessings and good luck to you.
Paul
By the way, the words that you wrote are not just your words. They are everyone's words. We are all working the same material here.
December 3, 2000
Dearest Paul,
I first wanted to thank you for getting the information out there, I feel that mt truth and your truth are very similar. I wanted to ask you something about life. In the past couple of weeks I have been through a very intense time which has felt like it's been a year. I have been through two relationships, male and female and both relationships didn't last. The first one was about the fact that I felt like I opened myself up way too fast because my biggest fear with men is either contracting an STD, HIV or getting pregnant. I was sexually abused as a child and I feel that my main purpose in being here is to help people become comfotable in their own bodies in a cosmic sort of way. The result of the sexual abuse led me to want to sleep with men the first day I met them even though I didn't really want to, I didn't speak my truth and I feel that I didn't respect my body because I felt that I gave a lot of power away. Now I've decided to make a different choice but that doesn't heal the darkness I carry inside of me. I've been listening to other people's truths and it's been driving me nuts! One teacher says, "what power? That's only a mind thing" I really want to live my life in love, in my heart and I have a hard time being gentle with myself, It's almost like I would rather be aggressive only because I want to live in love and I know the truth, then I feel like I don't. I know that everyone is a reflection of ones self and even though I make a different choice, I still seem to attract these people. I feel like a giving person and when I don't want to give I feel like I get punished for it because I don't want to expect that the universe is going to give to me, all I know is tha moment, and I feel like I should give it away according to my other teachers. She said to me, you have to empty the cup first before it has to be refilled, and I say, well how do I empty it to let the love in? Uh, I'm so confused, can you help me find my own truth?
The first law of love is to be gentle with yourself. If you will make that your absolute number one priority, the rest will follow.
Being gentle with yourself does not mean doing what others want you to do when you don't want to do it. It means honoring the part of you that says no. When you can do that, you can say no to others and they will believe you.
You can't attract what you want into your life until you say no to what you don't want.
Be patient. It might not happen overnight, but it will happen if you learn to listen to yourself.
In that respect, don't accept teachings from others, including from me, if they are not the teachings of your own heart.
Blessings, Paul
December 2, 2000
Dear Paul,
First I have to beg your pardon for my poor english. I´m from Germany, 36 years old.My girlfriend and i have read "the miracle of love" and now we have only one question: what is the course of life of the author ? We would like to read about the past of your life.
Thank you,
Many of the details of my past life and spiritual awakening are contained in the book Return to the Garden, which is now out in German translation.
Blessings,
Paul
December 1, 2000
Hi Paul,
I could not help but chuckle at your response. I do actually what you suggest, to take a quick walk, etc., what I consider the standard approach. But I guess this points at some assumptions that I am making, and perhaps you can help me out with this. As you've mentioned, I understand that the mind we're moving to with this type of breathing is beyond that which endeavors to analyze, and intellectualize. But my assumption here is that this type of mind, being greater than the intellectual mind, encompasses the intellectual mind. And in being greater than the intellectual mind, it is able to integrate knowledge in a different, and more accelerated manner than what the intellectual mind can do. And this was one of my goals in using your breathing. Is this possible, or do you consider the two separate?
Cheers!
By all means try integrating the two and see where it takes you. I find the two processes have different goals. Let me know how you make out.
Blessings, Paul
November 4, 2000
Hi Paul,
I wanted to ask you a question about breathing. In reading your book "Silence of the Heart", in the first few pages, you have described breathing deeply every moment. I have found this technique very useful. Initially, I used it only in my quiet times. But now, I am ready to move on and incorporate it in more of my daily time, outside of what I call my quiet time. I have found that this is very effective in interacting with people, as it melts away ego, and all such associated emotions, such that I now see the person (or people) in front of me for who they truely are, and where they are coming from. I have one area that I have difficulty incorporating the breathing excercise. As a scientist, I read alot of analytical and intellectually oriented material. I have found that when reading such material, and trying to incorporate the breath is very difficult, since, when in that state associated with the breathing, I find it difficult to focus, learn and absorb scientific material. Would you or any of the ascended Masters have any suggestions on how to maintain and/or enhance the ability to absorb scientific material while I read while I maintain the breath?
Many thanks in advance,
The purpose of this type of breathing is to go beyond the mind that reads scientific papers. If you want to improve comprehension of scientific papers, try a quick walk or run around the block, or some fast breathing.
Blessings, Paul
November 3, 2000
Dear Paul,
I have been on the planet for 52 years, knew from very young I was gay, grew up in a violent abusive family. Went through Vietnam as a CO took care of burns, became like many in my family a drunk and went through recovery with the 12 steps, was a Trappist for awhile but immature and did not stay. I went into the seminary after taking care of many who died from AIDS. Left the seminary to take care of my father as he died from alcoholism stayed with my mother for as long as I could drank again got sober again went back to graduate school in psychology and theology and now understand more. Even though I live in the Bay Area I still witness the hatred toward gay people and much of the time I don't feel much of a bond with other gay people. As far as the Chruch goes I feel driven away to find that very personal Jesus which is good. I've worked with children and families in a school setting intervening in domestic and school problems and that was a true grace. Children brought me back to myself helped me find somethings I had lost over the years. I work for some lawyers right now because I can work at night and go to school during the days. Maybe the only reasons I work there is because their is one boss who loves God and others yet he is homophobic but I am so use to being around people who like you as long as you are everything they understand. I thought going back to the seminary to serve those who feel on the margin but a) they have decided that even though I was sober there and am now sober a long time they don't want me back because of "the centrality of the Eucharist." and b) I realize it's like joining a club you feel safe and secure around others who think like you do in most ways and yet finding Jesus is actually a very non club affilated process. I write because another friend of mine who has been in AA for 25 years and deals with all her kids anger.In fact knew my father when he tried to stay sober. Well your books are what we discuss and so by what you say you know my heart because I resonate will a great deal of your material. I am feeling like going away from catholicism, don't know where exactly I'd go but I feel beat up. and even though that boss at work is good people that is no reason to keep a job and so I am thinking of quitting there as well. So, it feels as your head grays and you know for sure you will die because many others have gone before you.And those little props like job and religion fall through I am not sure where to go or where to turn or how to find my path and inately know and feel this is pleasing to God. If I blabbered too long or too much I apologize. It feels good to express it to someone and I trust you. Blessings.
I am certain that you will find your path, as you have done so all your life. don't be concerned that your path is not like that of others. it takes courage to be yourself and not to live in reaction to the likes and dislikes of others. as long as you stay in your heart and deepen in your love for yourself and others, it does not matter where you go or what you do. indeed, as you surrender the need to figure things out in advance, the doors will open to you spontaneously when it is time. Blessings to you and thank you for your heartfelt sharing. Paul
November 1, 2000
dear paul:
i am grappling with whether i have truly let go of a lot of pain in my life from various friendships, relationships versus masking it with kindness to others...it seems when i am in the state of pain, i become more giving and loving to others. at the time i feel good about it. sometimes it results in creative and beautiful results. when my mom had sudden open heart surgery, two weeks after a big breakup(i was unceremoniously dumped on new year's eve), i felt a sense of peace and love that was so near GOD and felt truly euphoric. i had complete forgiveness in my heart for the person doing the breaking.
but sometimes, during the pain, i fall into someone's...i'll call it "trap" (they can't seem to live with me being peaceful or loving to them)and become unbelievably entangled in drama(tests of love), that results in me eventually cutting off the other person, entirely after they push me to the brink. it's as if i suddenly wake up from a dream and am in a nightmare.
for the past nine months, i have been trying to assess if i am doing this from low self esteem.(or the martyr complex from Roman Catholic days) it has been an amazing journey reflecting on this. and sometimes i feel like i'm so close to understanding this, but i still find the answer to truly being ok with the pain and real awareness of the pain troubling versus masking it...or is it as someone once said to me that "GOD only gives us as much as we can handle?". if that's the case, does that somewhat explain the inconsistent clarity? thank you in advance for your insight.
Masking pain isn't usually such a good idea.Better to be up front about what you are feeling. then people know where you are and can respond to you authentically.
When you pretend to be okay and you're not, you invite people to continue the same behavior toward you that may be causing you pain.
Honesty's is the best policy, even though it is difficult. people who love you will be prepared to hear the truth from you.
And why would you want to keep the people who don't love you in your life by pretending to be something you are not?
Hope this helps. Blessings, Paul
October 5, 2000
I am having difficulty in reconciling the apparent contradiction in the concept of individual freedom of choice and the "Universal Law" of Karma – cause and effect. If we truly had freedom, there would not be predetermined effects or consequences. As it is taught, we are only truly free when we act, think, live etc. in accordance with Universal Law of God. To me, this is not freedom, it is compliance. Why don't they just call it the Universal Law of Compliance! Does not the presence of Law necessarily imply that there are restrictions against freedom? The way I read this it seems that the only freedom we have is in determining how long we postpone our inevitable compliance to Universal Law. The only thing we are free to choose is our consequences and how long we experience them and that is until we at last comply with the will of God!
I grew up with the fundamentalist telling me that I HAD TO accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior or else be eternally damned, although God really loves us and doesn't want that to happen but we are free to choose. Now, I have the New Thought/New Age teachings saying that all long as we choose to postphone our assent into Higher Consciousness (or whatever) we must endure the "negative" consequences. Is that Freedom?Is there any real difference in these teachings?
I would appreciate any thoughts you would be willing to share with me on this.
Thank you.
Great question! We have the freedom to choose the way we want to think and act and, yes, we reap the results of what we sow. However, this does not happen in any kind of linear way. Hence, some people who do all the right things still get cancer and die and some people who kill and rape get away without consequences.
God doesn't have a police force or even a hit squad, so if you or anyone else wants revenge you'll be sadly disappointed. And, I'm sorry to say, if you are looking for justice (an eye for an eye), you'll be a bit disgruntled too.
But if you look at things in the long haul, you see that our thinking and the actions that arise from them eventually catch up to us. A wolf just isn't happy wearing sheep's clothes forever.
So whatever is in your mind will eventually come out. You can't hide it indefinately.
And then you have to look at it and see whether or not it is contributing to your happiness. And if it isn't...you have a chance to change it. Life is generous and gracious in this way. It gives us many opportunities to end our suffering.
Do you have free will? Of course you do. You can keep saying no to love and you can keep your pain alive. Are you likely to do this? Well.......everyone has a limit as to how much pain is enough.
So, yes, the outcome is in a way guaranteed. You might even say that the deck is stacked. Chances are very strong that you will choose love, sooner or later.
Whether it will be sooner or later is up to you.
And please remember, even if you decide to choose love right now, it doesn't mean that you will get a new Mercedes.
The choice is a deeper one than most new age pundits know, because it's not just the spiritual adult who must choose, but also the wounded child who isn't sure he is worthy of love.
Believe me, there's enough challenge to keep us all busy for a while.
If you don't believe me and you believe the pundits of angel glitter, why just click your shoes together like Dorothy and go right to Oz.
I tried this when I was five and it didn't work. But you never know, maybe it will work for you.
Now for the tough part: it is possible to love Jesus and hate his brothers and sisters... and, whether they know it or not, that sure throws a wrench into the bible thumping, born again, instant oatmeal approach to salvation.
Jesus didn't tell us he'd love our enemies for us. He told us we would have to learn to do it. And so we got some homework.
What's wrong, you don't like the assignment?
October 4, 2000
Dear Paul,
I loved your book "Waking up Together" I feel as if it was a life altering experience and feel blessed to have found them. I have been deeling with my husbands infedelity and have discovered how much my reactions have mainly to do with my own issues. Although quite complicated by using the peace process I have learned that we still have quite a bit of learning and loving to do together.
Strangely enough I see that jealousy and control issues have caused many of my relationships to have very difficult feelings. Finding peace when others have other people in their lives is difficult for me to grasp and I do have feelings of abandonment and such from a very young age. This is just as true of my husband as well as friends and family.
Do you have anymore guidance that would help to deal with these feelings and emotions. I have found it quite easy to feel compassion and unconditionally love and forgive others outside but It must be a challenge within, to do the same for myself and give myself the power to be present and aware for myself.
Can you suggest anything that would be helpfull to put aside worries for the future. Your books truly helped me move away from my attachments to things outside of my self from the past.
Yes, "the power to be present and aware for yourself" is of primary importance. This means to be aware of all of your feelings without blaming others. When you take responsibility for how you feel, you realize that you honor your feelings by making choices that may be different from those you made in the past.
When someone chooses not to be with you, it sets you free to be with someone who is capable of being committed to you. But jealously can prevent trust from developing and can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I suggest honesty with yourself first and then with others. talk about your feelings of abandonment and jealousy with people you are involved with. Ask them to disclose their fears too. get as much as you can out on the table.
What more can you do? I wish you great clarity and many blessings.
October 3, 2000
Dear Paul,
I have for a long time believed in breatharian that food is a drug-poision the reason we get sick mentally physically emotionally, etc., and it causes all pain and suffering, death which is deterioration of the body. I believe that our source of true energy life source is connecting to the energy that we all are. What does Jesus say on this? I have seen Jesus in a portrait (a.m. 1981 ) and he was alive in this many years later 2000 i was very worried about my financial situation I was feeling very overcome and not knowing what to do to change this then I had a dream I saw a purse and I wanted to go and see what was inside the purse there was nothing but A SCROLL WITH A PICTURE OF JESUS AT THE TOP WITH ARMS STRETCHED OPEN AND AROUND HIM WERE ANGELS-BEINGS AND ALL THE WAY DOWN THE SCROLL (the angels- beings) INCREASED IN NUMBER TO THE BOTTOM OF THE SCROLL (when I saw these purses, I wanted to go and see if there was any money, but I did not want to take from anyone so I decided to look for ID and return this if there was an ID but there was nothing NO MONEY AN EMPTY PURSE BUT WHAT WAS IN THERE WAS JESUS! I would like to know what this really means! Long time ago I received a poem upon waking up and some of it goes like this LOVE IS THE ANSWER WE ARE ENERGY BEINGS EVER CREATING EVER EXPANDING A PART OF ALL THAT IS FOR ALL THAT IS IS WHAT WE ALL ARE FOR WE ALWAYS WERE AND ALWAYS WILL BE.... What does this poem and finding Jesus mean? it seems one says we are a part all that is for all that is what we all are (we are God a part of God) so what does this mean? Is Jesus God or? And please ask Jesus about Breatharian I am consumed with this UNDERSTANDING but still have doubs....even though I see the reversal of aging and its effects when I go towards fruit, water etc. I need to hear from Jesus Please ask Jesus about this for me, I have been struggling with this, he will know all the details..... other visions and experiences too which I think are important Is Jesus God? If not why when looking for money I found Jesus??????? Is Breatharian the new heaven no death no suffering no tears? I ask because I am trying to understand what I believe-know and maybe with what Jesus said THE SAYINGS OF JESUS TOUCH ME AND RING TRUTHS TO ME OR DEPTH ET please respond.....if you really do hear from Jesus then I need your help.......please ask Jesus about this....thank you. PS. I HAVE TRIED TO TALK OR ASK HIM THESE THINGS BUT I GET DIFFERENT ANSWERS, SOMETIMES AT THE SAME TIME.....PLEASE ASK JESUS TO HELP ME THROUGH YOU AT THIS TIME. thank you Ps. I hope you will come through, I hope that what you write is from Jesus and not from your mind- the part of all that is that is your level of self? Now, please do not take this wrong, I am being honest....Try me and let me decide for myself if Jesus is talking through you or your part of all that is........One way or another it will ultimately help me understand the truth.....thank you
If Jesus is God, so are you. If not, you aren't either. You decide.
If you and Jesus are God, you can ask God directly. You don't need Jesus or me.If you and Jesus are not God, then you are wasting your time asking me or him.
As for breatharian....beware of absolutes...they kill people.Food, like anything else, is relative...one man's desert is another man's poison.
Find out what makes you feel good and stick to that.Your body will tell you, if you are nice to it.
Love, Paul
No, Jesus is not God, but he is also not unGod,
October 2, 2000
Dear Paul
I loved your book and appreciate its wisdom. Thank you.
We have a lovely eight year old who has a lot of social difficulties--kids picking on her, groups ostracizing her for being different than they are--and she is really sensitive and wants friends very much. She does okay with some children, one on one, but invariably in group situations she becomes the scapegoat. If they tease her she cries and then they increase the teasing.
She is beautiful and intelligent and verbally precocious, and adults love her, but she wants friends her own age. We teach her ideas about God's love for her and let her know that other kids judgements about her have much more to do with them than with her, but it is still difficult for her.
Any insights or ideas we could share with her.
Yeshua said "love your enemies." He also said "turn the other cheek."
I guess your daughter is being asked to practice the master's teaching at an early age.Tell her not to hold back her love even though other people are unkind. In time, even the hardest heartsmelt in the face of devoted and persistent love.
Jesus loved that way and he asked us to do so too.
It's easy to love when other people love us back. It's not so easy when they don't.
Tell your daughter that God has given her a big challenge. Maybe she's up to it.
If not, it's okay... maybe you can find a little more forgiving environment for her to be in...but first, see if she can rise to the occasion.
Love and blessings,
Paul
And keep telling her how much you love her and how wonderful she is.
October 1, 2000
Hi! A friend lent me the cassette tape on uncondition love. At one point you say Jesus did not die for our sins, saying why would He. Why did he die on the cross, then? Why did he go through all of that pain and suffering and why is He called the Redeemer? I truly and deeply connected to every thing else on the tapes, but this threw me a bit of a curve.
There is no vicarious atonement. Jesus knows this better than anyone. Each one of us must atone. Each one of us must choose to come back into alignment with the divine will.
If Jesus could have done this for us, we would not be here now. The fact that we are here, suggests that we all have this work to do.
Jesus is a model...a wayshower...he shows us what we can and must accomplish. His crucifixion and resurrection was not our release, but his. Each one of us must, as he did, recognize our innocence and that of all of our brothers and sisters. Once we do, our bodies can be killed, but our souls live forever aligned with the truth.
Alignment and atonement are and must forever be up to us. That is the meaning of free will, which is the keynote of our embodiment here.
Hope you find this helpful.
Love and blessings,
Paul
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