My Story by Beatriz Schriber
 

For the longest time, I've been living in a constant seeking mode. And so sometimes, even without realizing it, I've been incessantly going wherever I've felt guided, searching for that "something" that I've been  desperately yearning for, believing that what I needed to find was a way to make a difference by helping others.  The journey has been intense and I've received many gifts and blessings along the way.
     Several years ago, I came across one of Paul Ferrini's books, and then several others.  Each one of them made a big impression on me. I could tell because I could take them only in small doses - they touched something very deep inside. I also signed up to receive Paul's Newsletters and "Wisdom Messages" - they were invariably an answer to what I was going through at the moment. Soon I became aware that there was something called an "affinity group", and that there were retreats held several times a year.  I thought about them many times, but somehow never followed through by participating. I cannot explain why.  I guess I was not ready to heal at that level...yet.
     Then, several months ago, Paul wrote a Newsletter that I resonated with in a very profound and special way. This time, I couldn't pass up the invitation and I joined the Spiritual Mastery Program. Am I glad I did! Immersed in this safe space, supported by the teachings and the daily practices, inspired by the honesty and vulnerability of these wonderful people (mostly women) that I barely knew at the time, and encouraged by Paul's gentle and loving guidance, I found the courage to look within - and  eventually, to share myself. 
     A part of me did not want to go there, afraid of what I might find, but I decided to do it anyway. It was not an easy or comfortable process, as I had to dig very deep through layers of unexpressed emotions that over time had turned into hard walls of protection. And then, one day, touched by Grace, underneath all the sorrow, disappointment, frustration, anger, shame, sadness and fear, I was able to find...myself!
     I saw a little Beatriz looking at me, wondering with big eyes why life had to hurt so much, feeling so lonely and so scared and so powerless that she wondered if she could handle life at all. She was screaming for attention, longing to belong and, more than anything, she was yearning to be held and loved.  I will never forget this encounter. Her pain, which was my own pain, and the compassion I felt for her made me cry for what seemed hours on end. Almost unknowingly, I had given myself permission to get in touch with what was deep inside, and this time I didn't walk away. Instead, I felt like hugging her and asked for her forgiveness for the times I had not been there for her. She just smiled back at me, as if she understood.
     From that moment on, I finally began to understand many things, although now not with my head, but with my heart. Sensing the tightness inside myself, I understood that I couldn't feel relaxed inside because I spent my life trying to prove myself, striving for an unattainable perfection, seeking to justify my existence by accomplishing and taking care of others, while feeling paralyzed by the fear of failing.  No wonder my relationships were failing and I was getting sick. 
     The support I've received through the Spiritual Mastery program and through my "affinity buddies" has been invaluable. Theory became practice; concepts became reality. And I learned no to judge the feelings that came up, but to embrace it and hold it with love.
     Compassion and gentleness, especially towards myself, have been key in my ongoing healing process. As Paul once said: "God's love flows to others through the love we have for ourselves." That love for myself had been missing from the equation.  But not anymore.
     I'm becoming good friends with little Beatriz. As I've become aware of her wounds, I've also come in touch with her innocence and her magnificence, her pure essence, and her amazing ability to bounce back and enjoy life. She has been an awesome teacher and I’ve thanked her for that.  In the process, I've been acknowledging myself for my willingness to heal.
     I can't wait for you to join us this Summer, to hold hands as we grow and heal together and as we share the gift of who we are. 

Sharing the Gift of PanEuRhythmy

     One of the gifts I am excited to share during the early mornings at the conference is  my practice of PanEuRhythmy.  PanEuRhythmy can be translated as “Dance of Universal Harmony and Rhythm.” It means communication with universal Intelligence and love through body movements, music and lyrics, with the purpose of helping us maintain our mental, physical and emotional health. This unique meditative dance was created over 100 years ago by Master Peter Deunov, as he is known in Bulgaria.
     PanEuRhythmy revolves around promoting a balanced interaction of giving and receiving between the Creative Principle (Fatherhood -Cosmic Intelligence) and the Nourishing Principle (Motherhood- Cosmic Love).  This in turn gives birth  to the Organizational Principle (Cosmic Rhythm-Motion), and establishes a perfect order and balance in God’s Creation.   I hope that you will join us for these wonderful, inspirational dances.  They are easy to learn and they create a living mandala of great serenity and power.