My Breakthroughs in the Spiritual Mastery Program
by Raimonda Peronti

    Since I have come back from the Mastery Retreat in January, 2006, I have become conscious that my confidence is building. The space of trust inside me is getting larger and I am looser and more able to tap into this greater experience of Love that I have inside myself.
         One breakthrough I have made in the Mastery Program has been to stop my pattern of leaving my family when my wounded child is triggered. Six times in the last 13 years of my 23 year marriage, I have run away, rather than stay and try to work things out, for my sake and the sake of my three children. Now I am healing my wounds at home, where it is most difficult, taking each opportunity to speak my truth, stand up slowly, step by step, honoring the pace of my inner child. I did not know how to do this before.

     I have also come to realize that spiritual Law # 4 -- manifestation --is a key one for me. I have many lessons here.  I keep setting myself up for failure. I have great visions, but I have not been willing to take the little steps to move forward. My pattern is to shoot for the stars and, as a result, I would keep failing and that would just reinforce my feelings of unworthiness and my desperate need for approval.   Without patience and perseverance, constantly jumping from one project to another, how could I succeed? Now with the support I have received from Paul and the community I am learning to take small steps, to be gentle with myself , to practice patience, and to stay focused on goals. 
     Before, I was going crazy biting my own tail! Now, I am experiencing many small victories. And my confidence in myself is building.
     When Paul first began to speak about the divine love energy, I did not seem to feel it.

   I was a bit worried at first, but then I just relaxed about it and accepted my experience Just last week something happened that surprised me. I went to see my aunt who is 82 for her birthday and I started to caress her back with both my hands. I was not thinking of healing , or energy, but shortly after I touched her she said “What is this energy you have in your hands? It is so warm, and gentle. Please come more often to do this to me.’’ 
     When I least expected the energy started to flow …… This is one of many small signs that indicate that I am healing and integrating the work.

Support and Connection with the Community

The first person I felt safe with was my sister Isabella. She held the space for me when I began putting down my mask and becoming authentic. I started to connect to my feelings and I knew that we were helping each other grow and open to new possibilities.
     In the past thirteen years I have been part of five different communities and something was always missing.  After my long journey literally around the world, I picked up Love Without Conditions and resonated deeply to the message, but I did not go to a workshop until three years later, when I enrolled in the Spiritual Mastery Program. Now, a year and a half has passed, and for the first time I am experiencing a sense of belonging I have never encountered before.

My passion for inner child work, community, and relationship as a path back to God has never been so fulfilled. The support Paul and the other Mastery students offer has helped me to make many small breakthroughs. Now, I am seeing the fruits of my hard work.

   The Affinity process is the means for practicing authenticity in relationship. This process has saved my life. In the past, I was so wounded and triggered by my family, I would leave, rather than stay and speak my truth. Working with the process, I have learned to stay and say what I am feeling without blaming my husband.  I have also used the process to create a safe space for my children so that we could communicate honestly and deeply.
     Now I am facilitating two telephone affinity groups for others in the community.  Each time after one of the group sessions ends, my heart fills with joy to have discovered such a precious jewel ! The love I feel when we create this sacred space together is huge. I can only feel gratitude .
     The support of the groups has been crucial in bringing up for healing my wounds of abandonment, isolation, and unworthiness.  Because others have lovingly and patiently held the space of unconditional love and acceptance for me, I have learned to walk in forgiveness of myself and others.  I feel like I am beginning to come home to my true essence.
     This is the first time that I have experienced a teacher who really wants to empower his students to reach out and give their gifts to the world.   Paul knows that we are all building this community together and he welcomes our help. Years ago I traveled the globe in vain trying to find a community that embodies equality and the full empowerment of all of its members. Today, I have not only found this community. I am helping to build it.  My heart fills with joy as I see my dreams of community steadily manifesting.

The Power of Loving Myself

Yet I know that this is happening only because I have been willing to let go and surrender.  This is my work every day. Fears come up and I need to sit with them. Sometimes I forget, and try to take control, and then everything falls apart. Then I feel like a failure.  Then I feel rejected and abandoned. And I have to remember to breathe. I have to remember my spiritual practice, to be gentle with myself and see that my old wounds are coming up for healing. Another layer of pain, unworthiness, and self betrayal is rising to the surface. I have to remember that I am here to bring love and acceptance to all of myself. 
     So I practice holding an affinity space for myself. Gradually, as I bring love, my fears subside.  I reconnect to the truth about me. I open my heart again to the Source of Love within me.
     That is my daily work.  Each one of us is doing this work.  We are all learning to bring this radical acceptance to ourselves. As Paul says, we need to love ourselves radically, without conditions. 
     Thanks to the support of this community, I am learning to do this.  As a result, my life is being transformed. As I learn to love myself, my love flows out effortlessly to others..  My friends and family feel it.  And the mirror they are holding up to me is a more gentle one.  For the more love we give, the more we receive